Finding God in Family LIfe

Finding God in family life is one of the most difficult and one of the easiest things to do.  It’s all about where you look.

Our children run the gamut from preschooler to young adult.  With six children spaced out over 17 years, family prayer has been a constantly evolving, and constantly tested, part of our family life.

When our oldest was young, we used lots of the “family prayer” books with limited success.  Often those prayer times were more exercises in sitting still than intentional time with the divine.  In spite of the struggle, some prayers we kept no matter what, and we discovered that routine made things smoother.  Dinner time prayer, which we do every night, has no resistance, and even occasional inspiration.  Same with prayer to start our homeschool day.

We’ve learned some things about prayer over the years, namely that prayer is much more about God’s initiative than ours.  When we sit down and “do” prayer, God takes the opportunity, but it’s not the only time that God is present to us.  God is with us all the time, always acting our lives and the world around us.    

A year ago our family made an intentional move “back to the land” to live sustainably.  We live on 1.5 acres in Boise, have a big garden, chickens, milk cow, and beef cows.  We have rejected all things disposable.  The food we don’t grow ourselves we buy fair trade, organic, local, and in-season.  This life has changed the way we eat and work.  It’s also changed the way we pray.

Living close to the land gives us new opportunities to notice God.  When we plant seeds, the kids naturally pray for God to bring the rain and grow the seeds.  Thanking God at meal time takes on a new tenor when we buried the seeds, saw them germinate, and harvested the food ourselves — we saw, with our own eyes, the miracle of God providing for us.  When our milk cow calved and both Mama and baby were in trouble, our children’s prayers to save them was heartfelt and later their gratitude for fresh milk deep.  Without trying, we notice God’s activity — the wind, the rain, the sunshine, the changing leaves, the maturing fruit, the growing animals. 

Biblical stories hold a new power for us.  When we hear that the harvest is abundant but the laborers are few, we remember the green beans last summer that came on so fast, every day trudging out to pick them and every evening snapping and blanching.  When we hear about seeds falling on good soil and poor soil, we remember plants that grew and plants that didn’t.  When we hear about the Good Shepherd, we think of our animals who are so dependent on us for their health and well-being.

In this winter season, our daily routine takes us all outside into the cold and dark.  We milk, clean the cow shed, feed and water the animals, and collect eggs.  There were gifts waiting in the dark that we didn’t expect.  My teenagers now track the movement of the planets.  We all are newly aware the phases of the moon.  The recent lunar eclipse held a relevance for us because we had become familiar with the night sky.

These notations of God’s activity are prayer.  In fact, they turn our days into prayer.  When we are grateful for the weather, the food on our table, the beauty of nature, that is prayer.  When we treat our animals with compassion and responsibility, we are acting righteously and pleasing God; that is prayer.  When we see the warmth of family love as a reflection the love of God, that is prayer.

Our “recipe” prayers became deeper when we regularly were noticing God peeking out from behind every day life.  The prayer grew potent and intensified our awareness.  Our homeschool days begin with family prayer, and we’ve found that variety keeps things fresh.  Right now we are using “Children’s Daily Prayer” from LTP.  We’ve also done Lectio Divina on the readings of the day and we’ve used Ignatian imaginary prayer as we read straight through the gospel of Mark.

Family prayer is at it’s best when days are filled with noticing God. Children are masters at seeing things that have become routine to adults.  When teenagers notice God, it comes with an authenticity that makes God seem bigger.  When parents remain committed to prayer day after day, year after year, it echoes the persistence of God.  Finding God in family life is all about where you look.